TO THE LAKE GO, I

Monday, June 7, 2010

It is June Again.....


Saturday was wonderful. My Mom and I traveled to Cumberland, MD to watch my son Todd as he competed in the Mid-Atlantic Regional Ironworker Apprentice Competition. It was a 450 mile round trip; however, it was worth every minute we spent on the road. I spent the day with Todd, Colleen, twins Kelsey and Owen, and baby Kieran Mark. It was a sweltering hot and humid day, which is normal for June in Maryland.

It was easy to spot Todd in the crowd because he is many inches taller than the other contestants are. Todd is 6'4" and weighs over 200 lbs. He is as hard as steel. As I watched him going from event to event, I did so with awe. Todd is an amazing, accomplished Journeyman Iron Worker. He received this honor the Wednesday before the competition. Todd has spent the last two years working on the Chesapeake Bay Bridge, dangling 100's of feet in the air walking on narrow steel girders.

My Mom and I enjoyed chatting with Colleen and the kids. Kieran is so happy and "mellow." He went to me with a huge smile, almost as though he recognized me. This was impossible because I have only seen Kieran once in his short life, which was a few weeks after he was born. Kelsey flitted around all day like a butterfly only stopping occasionally to eat or to draw on the cement with sandstone. She was a constant picture of elegant movement. Owen has perfected the art of conversation. I sat with him as he explained that when he grew up he wanted to be a professional snowboarder, or a scientist. Once he found a small stick and performed like Zorro. For a few short hours, I was in heaven even though I was steamy hot from the weather. I was with my son and his children.

It is June again. June means that another year has past since the death of my oldest child Mark. Mark was nine. Thirty-two Junes have passed since that fateful day, June 15, 1978. Todd is just a few months younger than I was when Mark died. I was 30. Todd will be 30 the first day of December. Kelsey and Owen are nine, the same age as Mark when he died. Only seventeen days separate Kelsey and Owens birthday from that of Mark's.

Mark died a generation ago. I look back and I still feel amazed that I survived Mark's death. I felt certain that I never would. I felt the pain of grief would cause me to fall dead in my tracts. At times, I prayed that God would take me from this earth.

Today, a generation later, I can honestly say God knew what he was doing by allowing me to live. If I had died from my grief, I would have never experienced Kelsey, Owen, Kieran Mark, Addy, Kaelyn and Maya.

If I had died, I would never have experienced Saturday, June 5, 2010 with Todd. Thank you, Todd. This June and every June forward, instead of agonizing over Marks death anniversary, I have June 5, 2010. "A day that will go down in infamy" as one of the very best days I have ever lived, truly one of the very, very best. To you, it was a competition. To me, it was day filled with awe, wonder and complete astonishment. In you, my Mother's heart nearly burst with pride. I can forever say my son Todd is a Journeyman Ironworker, one of the few, and certainly to me, the very finest.

Todd because of you, I will forever look forward to June. You my dear, have changed my life forever

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Happy Birthday, Mark. Today, You are 41.....

Death is nothing at all I have only slipped away into the next room I am I, and you are you. Whatever we were to each other that we still are.

Call me by my old familiar name speak to me in the easy way which you always used. Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me, Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.

Let it be spoken without effort, without the trace of a shadow on it. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was. There is absolutely unbroken continuity.

Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am but waiting for you for an interval somewhere very near just around the corner.

All is well.

Canon Henry Scott Holland (1847-1918)

Saturday, January 2, 2010

The Three Marks' Of Our Family...


Mark was only nine years old when he went to Heaven.
Our family misses him beyond measure.
However, Mark will always be remembered.
Two wonderful members of our family honor his name.
Mark Richard is alive in them.
Thank you, dear Todd, my youngest son.
Thank you, dear Dani, my sweet niece.

Kieran Mark Allen is Marks nephew.

Mark Rogers is Mark's second cousin.