How I Learned About Sex

It was not earth shattering. Although, what and how the information was given definitely impacted my life for the better.

I was 13. I was in the 7th grade. I was walking home from school with my girl friend, Toni. She asked me if I knew where babies came from. Of course, I said. A man and a woman get married. Then God blesses them with a baby. I believed in the immaculate conception.

Well, Toni told me that her big sister had told her the real story. Then Toni told me the real story.

In the early 1960's, most mothers did not work outside of the home. For one good reason. No family owned two cars and the words mass transportation did not exist in Oxnard.

For me, everyday after school was the same. For one hour, I practiced the piano. Then, I set the table for dinner, and then I started ironing. Perma press did not exist. Every piece of cloth was ironed including pillow cases, sheets, and tea towels. (Dish Towels) I ironed while my mom cooked dinner....from scratch. My Mom cooked for at least 2 hours every evening. Then we ate dinner as a family. After dinner, my mom washed the dishes and I dried and put the dishes away. This usually took about an hour. For one hour every single day, I had my mother's undivided attention. After dishes, it was homework. If I finished my homework before bedtime, which was 9PM, I was able to watch TV. This was my life out side of school during the week.

Anyway, it was doing the dinner dishes that I told my Mother what my friend had said about babies. I remember my Mother taking a very deep breath, and then saying, "What Toni told you is true." I remember my response as though it was yesterday. I said, YOU AND DADDY DO THAT? She said, yes. Then she explained sex between a married man and woman. She used absolutely correct terminology. At the end, she took my hands, held them to her face and said, "Sex is for married people only." I asked why? Again, I remember her exact words. She said, "Sex before marriage complicates your life, and takes away your childhood. As soon as a girl has sex, she is no longer a child, but a woman and a grown up." These two sentences really made a difference in my life.

I believed every word my Mom ever told me. I had compete trust in her. Therefore, that very evening when I was 13, I made a decision. Simply, I would not have sex before marriage. I sure did not want my life to be complicated and I sure didn't want to give up my child or teen status. After watching my Mom and Dad put in the hours that were necessary to provide for our family, I sure didn't want to be grown up. I simply was not interested in working that hard.

That was it. Two sentences from my mother. That was all. I remained a virgin until my wedding night. Actually, after my honeymoon, I decided I wasn't ready to be grown up then! 18 is too young to get married, then and now!

My folks worked very hard. Not just providing for the family, but everyday living required so much. Just think, no micro waves, no cable TV or computers, no video games, no dishwashers, no cell phones, no fast food, and no packaged food. Every thing required time and work. But, what I did have can never be replaced. When I was home, I had my parents attention. Life was very busy doing just the necessities, yet it was so much slower and simpler. I think it was better.

I was not able to tell one of my four children where babies came from. The school did it for me....without my permission. To this day, this makes me sad.